FF critics
by msanogi
Summary: The FF characters sit down and have a long and serious discussion about the pros and cons of the game.......HAH! Yeah right! Like i could write anything serious! R/R that's all i have to say....


Disclaimer: I don't own FF10, FF7, or that Siskel (however you spell it) and Eibert show thingy. Yeah. And if I did own them, I wouldn't be typing this right now. I'd be on TV or I'd be buying every game related thing possible w/ my millions. But yeah……..  
  
A/N: I know one of the two, I forgot who, wuz it siskel or Eibert? ….. anyways one of them is dead but I don't remember which one. And also I don't know who the new partner is so….let's just pretend like no one ever died. Gah, death is such a ghastly business.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Announcer: ….and now back to the Siskel and Eibert show.  
  
(camera pans in on two men, obviously not Siskel or Eibert)  
  
Sephiroth: Hello. And welcome to the Siskel and Eibert sh—  
  
Cloud: you said I could do the opening!  
  
Sepiroth:So?  
  
Cloud: Well anyway it's a critics show….  
  
Sephiroth: Okaay………whatever. Siskel and Eibert are indisposed at the moment.  
  
Cloud: *opens closet door revealing two guys in ropes*  
  
Guys in ropes: Helph! Helph!  
  
Cloud: *slams door* heh heh heh…… ^_^;  
  
Sephiroth: Today we're reviewing what could possibly be the best FF ever.  
  
Cloud: Final Fantasy 7  
  
Sephiroth: No! Final Fantasy 10!  
  
Cloud: Why are you saying that! Now everyone's gonna wanna play that and not play our game!  
  
Sephiroth: Look at how much money they're giving us! *shows him the check*  
  
Cloud: Holy crap! I've never seen that much gil in my life!  
  
Sephiroth: Mmhm. More than you get for selling a mastered ALL materia.  
  
Director: GET ON WITH THE SHOW!! WE'RE ON A TIME SCHUEDULE!!!!  
  
Cloud: Sorry! ^_^; Today we're reviewing FF10's characters, plot, and overall gameplay.  
  
(two figures can be seen in the shadows)  
  
Sephiroth: First, the characters. Tidus. What's up with the leaderhosen? And that voice, UGH!!!  
  
Tidus:WHAT THE!?!  
  
Seymour: heh heh heh heh…  
  
Cloud: Now the one that bothers me is Seymour, What's up with the hair? And how can he stay so calm when he's talking about killing ppl?  
  
Sephiroth: And that kiss w/ yuna……that was disturbing.  
  
Seymour: let's kill them.  
  
Tidus: Wait. Not yet.  
  
Cloud: Did you hear that?  
  
(both figures scramble back behind a sign)  
  
Sephiroth: No.  
  
Cloud: Anyway, Lulu and Rikku look like total sluts.  
  
(Tifa walks in)  
  
Cloud: *still talking* actually they kinda remind me of Tif- *notices Tifa*  
  
Tifa: remind you of who?  
  
Cloud: *nervously* uhh….well…..I….umm…heh heh….  
  
Sephiroth: Continuing…  
  
Tifa: *takes a seat* In my opinion everyone in the game is cool.  
  
Sephiroth: *indignantly* Well we didn't ask for your opinion did we?  
  
Barrett: Listen to the lady! Yo guys are going about this all wrong! *rips a chair out of the studio floor and sits it by the rest of the group*  
  
Cloud: You know, you coulda just used one of the chairs from the break room….  
  
Barrett: Shut yo' spiky @$$ up!  
  
Cloud: … *looks away*  
  
Barrett: Now, the way I see it, this storyline is good. But that Tidus guy is too stupid.  
  
Cloud: But he reminds me of me.  
  
Tifa: Sadly enough.  
  
Cloud: WHY IS EVERYONE PICKING ON ME!  
  
Yuna: Hi guys!  
  
Tidus: What are you doing here?  
  
Yuna: We couldn't just wait for you! ^_^  
  
Wakka: We wanted to see what they said about us to, ya?  
  
Auron: Shut up before they hear you!  
  
Cloud: Okay I heard something that time!  
  
(everyone turns around)  
  
Tidus: OH CRAP!  
  
Auron: BE QUIET! Now everyone move when I say…..  
  
Seymour: Why does everyone have to listen to you!  
  
Auron: Just do it!  
  
Wakka: You stole that from the Nike commercial, ya?  
  
(Sephiroth and Barrett get up and walk to the back of the set)  
  
Auron: Move!  
  
(everyone moves to the opposite side)  
  
Barrett: I dunno what that crazy @$$ villian mind of yours wuz thinkin', but there ain't nothing back here.  
  
Sephiroth: Just because I'm a psychotic killer doesn't mean I don't have feelings! *starts sniffling and leans his head on Cloud's shoulder*  
  
Cloud: Hey! I don't work that way man…….  
  
(they both sit back down and Tidus and them move back to their spot)  
  
Seymour: Hey, why does our group get referred to as "Tidus" and them? Why not "Seymour" and them?  
  
Msanogi: because that's what I felt like doing.  
  
Seymour: *mockingly* because that's what I felt like doing…  
  
Msanogi: I'll delete you, then will you be happy?  
  
Seymour: sorry sorry…heh heh just joking with ya.  
  
Tifa: And the overall storyline and game play was fantastic! That concludes our show for toda—  
  
Sephiroth: *stops sniffling* HEY!! I just left for a second! Why is the show ending?!?  
  
Tifa: because the director told me you were taking too long.  
  
Sephiroth: I didn't even get to say my opinion.  
  
Cloud: Yes you did……  
  
Sephiroth: But not about the storyline and the gameplay!  
  
Tifa: Well what else was there to say?  
  
Sephiroth: I thought it sucked!  
  
Seymour: GET HIM!  
  
(all of the FF10 characters (including Lulu and the ones I wuz missing b4, hey how'd they get there???) jump sephy)  
  
Sephiroth: HELP! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!!!!  
  
Tidus: Yeah, and Sin can fly!  
  
Rikku: Actually, it can you know?  
  
(tidus stops)  
  
Tidus: Oh well!  
  
(they all continue to wail on sephy)  
  
Tifa: And that concludes Siskel & Eibert show! *to Lulu* Hey which color looks better on me? Purple or black? 'cause I'm thinking of doing this gangster/mage makeover for myself.  
  
Lulu: Definetly purple. And you're going to need to get some implants. I know the name of this great plastic surgeon….  
  
(fades out)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Msanogi: and that concludes why you never mix cookies with beef jerky and orange juice……  
  
Auron: you were writing about a critic show….  
  
Msanogi: Yeah and that's why you shouldn't mix foods that aren't meant to be mixed or else you'll come up with a messed up story like that. ^_^x  
  
Auron: *walks away*  
  
Msanogi: That's fine! Just walk away! I'm getting a new buddy to keep me company anwayz!  
  
Seymour: and that would be me?  
  
Msanogi: *nods*  
  
Seymour: oh great……  
  
Msanogi: Anywayz, thanx 4 reading my fic! I don't have anything against FF10 or FF7 or the siskel and eibert show. So don't be offended. Yeah. Please R/R! THANX! ^_^x 


End file.
